Have you ever had someone you look up to who seems to have the perfect marriage begin to show signs that something’s just not right? What about you, have you ever been there in your own marriage? Journeying through a marriage has so many highs and some lows as well. But how we manage the lows is just as important as the number of highs! Dealing with the lows of marriage is critical! This is why I strongly encourage all couples getting married to have a few sessions of pre-marriage counseling.
The purpose of this counseling is to just make sure your eyes are open to what’s in front of you. Admittedly, marriage is one of the most amazing blessings in life! But if you go into it blinded by your fairytale outlook on life, then you’re gonna be in for a few bumps along the road that will about knock you off your feet! The point of this post is what happens when those bumps come. How will you respond?
Now there’s an old saying that goes fake it til you make it. And this is a useful phrase that we’re kind of going to manipulate for this post. I never think we should just fake it til we make it especially in marriage! But sometimes our emotions are a little slow to catch up to what’s happening around us.
Take for instance something awful or unexpected happens in your marriage. How would you react? What do your wedding vows say? If you used the traditional ones, they went something like this: for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death parts us.
For some reason our culture has changed a few things in here to read something like: for better not worse, for richer as long as I get the wealth, in health and sickness as long as you don’t get too sick, to love and to cherish until I just stop loving you and need to move on.
That sounds ridiculous doesn’t it! I mean if we actually said out loud how we really approach the marriage relationship, most of us would be appalled! This week in our Friday Family Focus we look at being obedient until your emotions catch up. We know right from wrong. We know what we’re supposed to do, but we often choose to do the exact opposite. What’s up with that?!
Our emotions are uber fickle! They will all too often lead us into really bad places which is why we need to let our obedience trump our emotions. Those wedding vows are a promise. They’re a promise to love, honor, cherish and obey one another until death. That’s a long time (at least I hope it is!) That means that on the days when you don’t really feel like loving, you still need to! I get it. That sounds a lot like fake it til you make it but it’s not. You’re training your emotions that they don’t get to direct your will or your obedience. When you consciously make decisions that you know are right, you’ll force your emotions to catch up.
So stay the course. Don’t follow your emotions. Be obedient to your promises. Be the person you promised to be even when your spouse isn’t! Eventually your emotions and theirs will catch up. Here’s to strong relationships, healthy marriages and an all around blessed life!