(Part 3 of 4 in the “Performing or Belonging?” series)
We were made for connection.
Not Wi-Fi. Not group texts. Not “likes.”
Real connection. The kind where someone sees you, hears you, and stays.
But let’s be honest: that’s rare. And that rarity is saddening.
Most of us walk through life surrounded by people but are suffocating from loneliness. We go to parties, small groups, even worship services and still feel like nobody really knows us. We crack a joke, scroll some memes, post a photo, and call it “community.” But deep down, we know we’re starving.
Starving for real conversations.
Starving for safe places.
Starving for the kind of love that doesn’t flinch when we get honest.
Why? Because we’re wired for belonging. It’s not a wish or a pipe dream. It’s built into our soul.
God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” And He wasn’t just talking about marriage. He was naming a core human need: to be seen and embraced in the context of relationship. Being alone was the first not good thing mentioned in the Bible.
But somewhere along the way, we stopped believing that was possible. So we settled.
We settled for surface-level friendships.
We settled for performative “community” where image matters more than honesty.
We settled for churches where connection ends at the door and vulnerability never makes it past the welcome team.
And that’s not just sad. It’s dangerous.
Because when we don’t belong, we break. Not all at once. Slowly, over time.
We isolate. We numb. We drift. We start thinking something’s wrong with us when really, the problem is we’ve been faking intimacy in systems built for applause, not authenticity.
And the church has sometimes made it worse.
We’ve taught people how to serve before teaching them how to connect.
We’ve emphasized theology without embodying hospitality.
We’ve built programs but neglected people.
But there’s good news: belonging is still possible.
Because Jesus didn’t just save souls. He built a family.
He took tax collectors and zealots, doubters and sinners, introverts and loudmouths, and said, “You’re mine. You belong.”
And if there’s one place in the world where masks should come off and stories should get told, it should be the church.
Not a church full of shiny people pretending everything’s fine.
A church full of real people with real baggage and real grace.
A church where someone says, “I’ve been through hell,” and the reply isn’t silence, it’s “You’re not alone.”
That’s the kind of community the world is longing for.
Not another event. Not another doctrinally packed sermon.
A place to belong before you believe, behave, or have it all figured out.
So here’s the question: Are we brave enough to build it?
Not perfectly. Not instantly. But intentionally.
With small steps, awkward moments, honest stories, and persistent love.
This post is Part 3 of 4 in the Performing or Belonging? series.
Next week we’ll dive into: “Grace Is the Antidote” discovering how Jesus dismantles our need to perform and gives us a better way to live, love, and build something real.
You don’t have to settle for shallow.
You were made for more.
Let’s stop pretending. Let’s build belonging.
Source: www.derrickhurst.org